THERE IS NO PARTY LIKE A FAUQUIER SPRINGS PARTY

This week, Fauquier Springs CC had their annual Member Guest Golf Tournament for Men, and quite honestly, it was like no other Member Guest that I’ve ever played in.  First, I’d like to send shout outs to some of the people who made it so successful.

First and foremost, let’s thank the entire Golf Shop Staff, Andy, Brant, JD and the Cart Dogs who worked from before sun came up and well past sun down every day to make sure that every member and his guest was taken care of and enjoyed the event.  Also, thanks to Angela and her staff, with special thanks to Dani and Adam who seemed to always be in the right place at the right time to ensure that we had whatever we needed, and more importantly, what we wanted.  Thanks to the Grill Room staff, and the cooks out on the course for great food and drink, always served with a smile. Also, let’s not forget Mike and his grounds crew who had the course in spectacular shape for the event.  Thanks also to the members who signed up and made this a full field event.  Finally, thanks to the guest, starting with my good friend Sam, the other members of the Oakmont Flight and all of the other guest who helped make this such a successful and fun event.  

Have you ever gone to a golf tournament where a party broke out?  Well, that’s what happened at Fauquier Springs this week.  As someone reminded me on the first day, if your focus is on winning, you’ll ruin the entire experience.  Sure, we would all like to win, but quite honestly, this wasn’t a tournament about just winning, it was much more about getting re-acquainted with the guys you’ve gotten to know over the years, catching up on their lives, and getting them caught up on yours.  It’s about meeting and getting to know the guys you didn’t have a chance to meet or get to know better last year, and meeting and getting to know those for whom this is their first FSCC Member Guest. 

On Thursday, we played our first 9 holes, followed by a Pairings Party, but this was no ordinary Pairings Party.   Our club manager and her spouse opened up their home to host the party, complete with great food and Adult beveragesJ  Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t know of many clubs where the Club Manager opens up their homes to the membership for a party that goes in to the wee hours of the evening, but I’m Just Sayin.  There was something for everyone, even the cigar smokers could sit on the porch and partake of a little Scotch and a good smoke.  I hear that there may have even been a little trash talk and possibly a couple of bets placed, but I can’t confirm any of that.  Well maybe the trash talks part.

Friday morning started early with the first matches starting at 8:30 (you’ll understand the significance of the time later) and to my amazement, everyone was ready to go on time.  We played two 9 hole matches on Friday, and when we finished and all scores were posted, the pros had a multi station Skills Challenge set up for us.  The skills consisted of the usual stuff, like hitting a 130 yard shot, chipping and putting as well as a long drive contest with your partner.  I know, so far it’s kind of boring, but now to the challenges that we only seem to have at the Springs Club.  Following the skills challenge, a group of about 30 of us decided to place wagers on who could hit what appeared to be a 1950’s 1 iron and a Balata ball the farthest off the number one tee.  Small wagers, but if you get enough people involved, it adds up, and given the amount of alcohol floating around, it was clear, this was more about fun than money.  If you’ve never hit a 1 Iron, give it a try some day, it’s quite a challenge. After a couple of rounds of the Blades and Balata challenge, 18 of us decided to put a little more in the pot and have winner take all three hole challenge.  Now, I know what you’re thinking! What’s the big deal about 18 guys playing 3 holes of golf right?  Well, when all 18 are starting on the same tee and playing together, that’s specialJ  Yes, we all started together and finished together, dropping the high scorers along the way.  By the time that we got to the third hole, there were only 6 of us still in the competition, none were totally sober, so it was amazing that two of us got par on the final hole and decided to split the money, or we could continue until dark and miss the Boat Challenge.    

By now, it was almost 8pm, but our pros still had one more challenge set up for those of us who weren’t too tired to continue on.  It was the Ball in the Boat Challenge.  Yep, that’s right, they had a boat in the pond at the 7^th hole and you had to hit a 61 yard shot into the boat to cash.  Problem was that by now, the 15 or so of us remaining were completely toasted and in the no pain zone, every one of us had a drink in hand, and some could hardly stand, but we were all determined to give it a try. I did manage to hit the boat twice in 4 attempts, which was pretty good considering how good I feltJ  Two others managed to duplicate my feat,  my friend Kirk and Tom (a guest and really good guy) both hit it twice as well.  By now, it’s pretty dark, but Andy, JD and Adam were still with us, making sure that we were all ok, and that we got all of the carts back to the Pro Shop without incident (really good idea).  I went home after the Boat challenge, but I heard a rumor that some of the guys didn’t get to bed until around 4am, but I don’t want to spread rumors, so you didn’t hear that from meJ  All I know for sure is that 6am Saturday morning came really fast for me, so it had to be super fast for the late nighters.

Saturday was another great day of golf and fellowship, from the opening round, right down to the Ball Toss at the end of the evening.  In the three days of the tournament, I didn’t meet a single person who wasn’t enjoying himself, and that’s a major accomplishment.  Every guest that I talked to complimented the event, and the condition of the course, every one of them seemed to be having a great time and was looking forward to returning next year. 

Now, I’m Just Sayin, every club has great Member Guest, but this is our place, and we can all be proud of our club, it’s members, management and staff for a great event.     

AIN’T NO CHEESE LIKE GOVERNMENT CHEESE

As most of my friends know by now, I am a pretty conservative person, and have been since my late teen years. I have always also always believed that we should have systems in place to assist those who are poor and disenfranchised however, sometimes I see things that are so outrageous they make me want to shut down every safety net ever created and leave all those folks on their own without any help from government or anyone else.  This article is about a couple of those outrages.

So, I’m watching Judge Joe Brown one day last week, and there’s this guy being sued by his ex girlfriend for a cell phone bill that he’s run up to over a thousand dollars, and no that’s not the outrage.  As the case goes on, Judge Joe is asking this lazy A-Hole if he works to which he replies; No, I get SSI.  For those of you not familiar with SSI, it stands for Supplemental Security Income, which is the government’s term for Disability payments to people who by all accounts should be disabled to the point that they cannot work and care for themselves.  However, I digress.  Judge Joe then says to the guy, you get SSI? To which he replies yes, I have trouble reading.  Judge Joe says you have trouble reading, what kind of disability is that? To which the guy replies, well I get some words mixed up.  By now, Judge Joe and I are about to leap out of our skins!  I was so angry that I thought my head might actually explode.  So, here I am a good American tax payer, watching some smuck on national TV who by all accounts could be working at something, but NOOOO, he’s collecting SSI and you and I are paying that Butt Hole not to work, un-F___ing Believable.

I have also recently encountered a “Grown Ass Man” who is perfectly capable of working who is collecting $200 per month in Food Stamps.  Get this folks he was approved because he works for a Temp Agency, which in some communities make you eligible for public assistance like the Food Stamp Program. Yes, and you get to pay for that too.

I personally know a young woman (age 32) who had a massive stroke while at work back in December of last year, who’s vocabulary is now limited to the word “OH”.  This woman has to be taught to read, write and perform all of the other functions of daily life, and thus she’s not able to take care of herself.   In the meantime, her benefits from her job have been cut off, so now she has no income, Health Insurance or Disability Income.  You would think that a person like this would be able to easily get SSI right? Nope, it seems that our government is so busy giving aid to people like the two dopes described above that she’s been waiting almost six months, and she still hasn’t been approved.  And they wonder why so few have any faith in government.

When I was growing up, there used to be government trucks that would sometimes go into under prividgledged neighborhoods and hand out things like Cheese, Powered Milk and mostly Stale Bread.  My mom and her sisters used to joke when they saw people running to get in line at these trucks by saying “Ain’t No Cheese like Government Cheese”.  People really loved getting that free food, and yes some of them didn’t really need it, but they took it anyway.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used my mom’s phrase over the years to describe people sucking on the tit of government, but SSI system make the old school Welfare Queens look like saints.  I’ve discovered that there are people on SSI because they drink too much to hold a job (say what?), some have drug problems, so clearly they can’t work either, and yes many are homeless, but don’t worry, you and I are paying for Post Office Boxes so that they can have their checks delivered.  What a great country!!

My purpose isn’t to say that we should stop helping those in need, however there has to be a better way.  It seems that the people who know the system well enough to abuse it are the only ones getting help under the current system, and that has to stop.   We have to somehow work out a system that identifies those truly in need and weed out the frauds taking advantage of the system, thus taking advantage of you and I, the American Tax Payer.

Now, I'm Just Sayin, Let's Help the Needy, not the Greedy.

WHITE PEOPLE – CLAIM YOUR HALF

At least once a week, I get an email or text message from someone trying to tell me either why Obama shouldn’t be president, or what a bad president he is. I finally got something earlier this week that made me want to write this article.  I find it funny that these things would come to me since I voted for Ron Paul, but they just keep coming.   Please understand that I find many of the items sent to me humorous, but I also find a small number of them offensive and distasteful.  It seems that the worse the person thinks Obama is at doing his job, the more stuff they send to me.  It’s almost like they think that I can do something to ease their pain, or perhaps get a message to the white house and let them know what  they think, or what the President needs to do next.

Does anyone remember that during the last election, everyone was celebrating the fact that a Bi-Racial person was actually making a serious run for President of these United States?  Even Fox News recognized that Obama was part Black, and part White, and yet now that he’s in office everyone just remembers his blacknessJ  Well I haven’t forgotten, and I’m not going to let you forget either, in fact every other time he does something I consider to be stupid or bone headed, I’m going to blame it on his white side, and start sending folks emails letting them know that their White President just screwed things up again! 

I know some of you by now are thinking I’ve lost my mind right?  Well I assure you I have not.  It’s time that all you White folks stand up and “CLAIM YOUR HALF”, yes, that’s right you need to claim your half!  In fact since we’re all Americans, and his father was born in Africa (not the USA)and his mother in Kansas, I actually think he’s more yours than oursJ   Please don’t be embarrassed, or ashamed, to just step right up, and “Claim Your Half”.  Black people have already claimed their half and now it’s your turn. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you have to support him, or that you have to like him, I’m just sayin that you need to claim the half that’s rightfully yours.  You can continue to send the distasteful Obama emails, and say that he’s the worse president in history (I assume you missed the Carter Years), but in any case, you need to claim him.  While there are still some who question if he was born in the United States, I have heard no one say that he isn’t Bi-Racial, and we all know that at least in this case, bi-racial does not mean Black and Chinese.   The one thing that those who love Obama and those who hate Obama agree on is that he is part Black and part White, and I for one am tired of you folks trying to deny your half.  If he were doing great things, many of you would have stepped up and claimed him long ago, so just because he’s not doing such a great job, don’t try to disown him, after all he’s part yoursJ

Now “I’m Just Sayin”  CLAIM YOUR HALF – CLAIM YOUR HALF – CLAIM YOUR HALF

I TRIED, BUT I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT HER

I know that some of you were expecting me to write about Sarah Palin this week, but the truth is that I just can't.  First of all everyone already knows what an air head idiot she is, so it would be a huge waste of time to spend time writing or reading about her.  So, I will limit my comments to the following two items, one of which I pulled from someone making a comment on Yahoo news yesterday.

If Paul Revere were still alive, and Sarah Palin's bus was rolling into town, he would ride through town yelling "The Idiot is Coming, The Idiot is coming".

Finally, it is fair to say that the only people dumber than Sarah Palin are the folks who would consider voting for her for anything other than the United Idiot Society!

Please read the next Article, I think you'll find it much more positive and uplifting.

I'm Just Sayin